Nature Girl Written by: Carl Hiassen

Allo, fellow book readers. I think I am now like one of those people who shamelessly buy the grocery store or newsstand tabloids, you know they're trash and full of complete nonsense, but you just cannot stop yourself from reading the highly dramatic mess that seems to hang around certain celebrities and at times political figures, what am I getting at? Well, I just could not help myself from picking up another Carl Hiassen book, and guess what? We're in Florida again! I just cannot help myself! Maybe it's because I have a bit of island fever at the moment and wish I were somewhere tropical and when I listen to a Hiassen book it makes me think... maybe I'm better off here in New England. This is Hiassen's 11th novel and is a bit more modern compared to his previous books which makes sense since those book were significantly older and things have changed slightly. But, it seems Florida just continues to attract and create its own special variety of loon. This book had quite the diverse cast of screwballs. The female lead Honey Santana is clearly not right in the head, but she means well and is looking to educate the world about the pollution issues and their own toxic emotional issues; Boyd Shreave, a telemarketer who is just a slime ball, just an utter slime ball, Boyd's mistress and co-worker Eugenie Fonda; quite the looker and previously famous mistress (famous as she had a book published about the affair that had a man kill to be with her.), Sammy Tigertail, a half Seminole, who gives us our first dead body of the novel has quite a bit of baggage, and now that baggage includes having a white man die on him of a heart attack and having to get rid of that body. Honey, she brings this cast together she's our lynch pin. Honey cooks up quite the plan in order to punish Boyd for nasty comments he made during his phone solicitation to her. Her plan ends up involving her 12 year old son Fry, and her ex-husband in a dark comic tale that though I did not find as educational or compelling as previous novels manages to make you shake your head laugh at inappropriate moments and just make you want to know just how will this conclude? This book was narrated by Lee Adams, I've had the pleasure of listening to book done by Adams before and I just love her voice, she's just so wonderful at doing archetype voices and for whatever reason I love her male voices they just make me happy. I loathe her valley girl voice though, it is amusing, but so spot on it makes me grit my teeth whenever I hear it, but considering the character Hiassen created Adam's valley girl voice is oh so perfect for this role. I did laugh quite a few times, this book was just so out there nuts, but the characters were oh so real and that made me just feel icky like when you have too much sugar and you have that film on your teeth and only a good brushing will fix that odd and slightly unpleasant feeling, but you'll go back and have sugar again.

The Leftovers Written by: Tom Perrotta

Hi there readers, well new month, I fell a little short last month compared to the past few months, but... c'mon been buuuusy. Though, it felt good to get back into reading towards the end of March and now into April. I saw this book and thought huh, interesting... The cover was what intrigued me, I thought is this a book about bad cooking? Then I read the jacket... and I asked myself hm... what if "Whoose right now, with no explanation a number of us simply vanished?" What would I do? Okay... continuing "Would some of us collapse? Would others of us go on, one foot in front of the other, as we did before the world turned upside down?" Well, I don't know if people vanishing would change the entire world upside down, but okay yeah I get what you're getting at... continued reading and decided, yup I've got to read this. Mostly because I love how many apocolypses I've apparently survived in my lifetime Y2K, Mayan, and who knows how many other Christian prophecies have supposedly been deemed upon us, oh and of course Ragnarok is going on now... so what would happen? I chose to listen to this book, and I have to say I was not disappointed in the voice actor this book was narrated by Dennis Boutsikaris his voice is somehow soothing and not at all shrill or overly dynamic, his reading was just smooth and brought you along the tale his voice changing subtly from character to character, but not too much and so he continues with his very relaxing tone an all American type of voice that lacks an accent but somehow comes off as American and well rounded average guy. Perhaps he's not what I imagined, but his voice definitely suited this book. The big scene for this tale is little town called Mapleton whose citizens have lost many of their neighbors, friends, and loved ones in the unknown event known to the world as the "sudden departure." These citizens are trying to go on and figure out what they should do to exactly make that happen. Nothing though, since the sudden departure has been the same. Kevin Garvey, Mapleton's new mayor is trying to speed up this healing process and to bring a sense of renewed hope and purpose to his traumatized community. Kevin though can't even stop his own family from falling apart; his wife, Laurie has left him and their children to join a silent cult known as the Guilty Remnant; his son, Tom is gone too, he's dropped out of college and follows a sketchy prophet named Holy Wayne. And his daughter, well she's home, but Kevin doesn't really recognize his baby girl anymore. There's a few others we follow in this tale who all are connected to Kevin and his family in some way, and readers... if the rapture had occurred I wonder, would we have all went as Looney as a lot of these people went? It is odd, because the world really didn't change just the millions of people vanishing changed those left behind, but the world did not change, and yet people abandoned their jobs, their families, and decide what's the point? Some people decide they only have seven years until judgment so they should party as hard as possible, and others decide they should be religious and triple their pious lives. But, no one knows what's right, because so many can't figure out what happened, because readers... the great departed it seems could have been anyone. I don't know if I really liked this book, it was entertaining, but the characters did not feel real to me, they felt like reflections as if they were just reactions moving forward rather than real people. The book jumped forward into time it seemed abruptly as if the author thought he had completed one thought and now it was time to just move on. The ending too just kind of ends. So, an interesting book, amusing, and raises some interesting questions, but was just a little flat for me.

Skinny Dip Written by: Carl Hiassen

Why hello there readers, phew, well, my apologies, I've been so crazy busy lately that I just decided to take a break from reading. Right, a lot of people go on vacation to enjoy reading I went on vacation and read comics and just let my mind zen out, and it was amazing! I had the pleasure of going to St. John with a few awesome family members and of course my husband. A lot of people upon our travels at the airport and people I spoke to before I left were talking about going to Florida.....and :shiver: readers after listening to another Carl Hiassen book, well... I don't think I could ever vacation in FL, not that St. John didn't have its own issues, but Florida just seems like that special kind of crazy and sleazy. And, from what I've seen on the news the past few years, just not for me, but hey that's just me many make FL their home, so who am I to judge? So, in this latest book I had the pleasure of listening to by Hiassen of course left me wishing to take a shower after and save a patch of wildlife. We are introduced to marine "biologist" Chaz Perrone whom can't even tell the difference between salt water and fresh water... and when he throws his beautiful wife, Joey, off a cruise liner, he really should have known better. An expert swimmer, Joey makes her way to a floating bale of Jamaican pot, and then to an island inhabited by an ex-cop names Mick Stranahan. (recognize the name readers?) Now, Joey wants to get revenge on Chaz and Mick's happyt help her. But, in sswampy South Florida, to seperate truthes from lies versus brilliance and utter stupidity isn't exactly either. There's an odd ensamble of people here readers and not all of them are exactly sleazy, but they're not exactly model citizens either... and then there's Chaz who's bad at murder, great at fraud, obsessed with himself in bed, and just terrible at getting caught. Readers, I absolutely loathed the Chaz character and after I adapted to Stephen Hoye's voice acting I realized his voice was best to give Chaz that extra bit of slime to it, and yet he made Joey sound relatable, strong, and quite intelligent. The world Hiassen creates is so tangible and even though I always want to shower and avoid Florida after reading his books I really enjoy how his stories come together and wrap up, that being said, so much is true in this book about the environmental disasters happening in FL I cannot help but feel a bit sad this time too, a good read indeed readers, especially if you've come back from Tropical paradise and need something to make you appreciate your wet, cold, and dreary New England home.

Skin Tight Written by: Carl Hiaasen

Right, Carl Hiaasen, this is the second book I've listened to written by him, and yet again I feel like I need to shower and go clean something. His book just left me feeling all grubby again. This latest book I read by him also left me for some odd reason thinking about Hamlet, but this story was not really anything like Hamlet. Except perhaps for the rather large body count... The book opens with the murder of a pistol-packing intruder, and not with a baseball bat, crowbar, or even gun, but with the aid of a stuffed Marlin head, right here you know this is going to be insane... Mick Stranahan realizes a bit later on that he can't deny that someone is out to get him. The now deceased by home decor intruder carries no I.D., and Mick being a former Florida state investigator knows there are plenty of people out there who would potentially love to bring his life to an abrupt end. The list of potential suspects include an off point hit man, a personal injury lawyer, a notoriously irritating TV journalist, perhaps one of his five ex-wives, and a fumbling plastic surgeon... just to name a few. Hiaasen  has a wonderful way with writing about Florida, it just makes me never want to visit this state... but I am quite fascinated with how such a tropical paradise could be so... slimy. Aided by the vocal talents of George Wilson once more, Hiaasen's characters take on an even more sleazy dialect and you can feel the oil just oozing from these characters because of Wilson's pitch and intonations. Though, I still don't like how Wilson gives his females such high nasal voices or low congested voices, but somehow it works. There's a whole lot of wheeling and dealing going on here readers; money, sex, favors, and promises will exchange hands multiple times and people will be stabbed in the back more than a few times, a rather tricky game indeed. Hiaasen serves us up some crazy action with a lot of comedic help as well as some cringe worthy moments. Seriously there's one scene I am so glad I was sitting and not running, because I almost past out it was so graphic... So, if Stranahan wants to keep living into his golden years he has no choice but to come out of retirement and attempt to close one last case that will take him back through the past as well as to multiple states and dealing with some rather colorful and oh so shady characters. This book was awesome readers, and everyone it seems is destined to have their just deserts one way or another Hiaasen will strike at everyone with his pen and not in an elegant stroke but with a slash that would make Jack The Ripper proud.

Wild Card Down & Dirty Book One Written by: Moira Rogers

Why hello there readers, yawn, pardon the lack of blog posts, this year I certainly started off strong, but things they are a changing and I decided to take some free online classes, but yeesh, I can read a good book for hours, but ask me to read scientific journals and watch video lectures, and my brain goes.. nap time? So, thought my brain might like a little pick me up, and so I read this little gem. This book is about a world that has turned its back on science after the human population went crazy with it and caused a major population decline so great that now werewolves can live among humans relatively safe. So, big machines and technology has been reset to the early 1900's and Jack Owens just happens to be Alpha of the Lonely River Pack, and as Alpha that makes him in charge of and protector to all the areas werewolves even if said wolves want nothing to do with him or the pack even if that wolf were named Ginny Howard. Ginny has been a bit of a thorn to Jack since she took over her families business a few years ago, but lately it has gotten even worse because you see readers, both Jack the man and Jack the wolf desire and admire Ginny. But, Jack is an excellent hunter, and he knows how to bide his time and knows not to push himself upon Ginny. Ginny, however, is quite aware of Jack and she is fighting fiercely to keep her independence and freedom from Jack. Ginny is one tough cookie and fights both men and werewolf men off alike as they do not take kindly to having a female out business them or out power them, but Ginny believes that is their problem and to hell with them. A romantic and quite erotic tale set in a very interesting landscape readers, it is a short tale, but there are some steamy moments and quite an interesting base this author has created in which she can build up their series if they so desire. I was delightfully distracted from reality and want to know more about this new world Rogers has introduced me to.

Consenting Adults Five Short Stories Written by: J. Lea Lopez

Consent, it is a powerful thing in the world my fellow readers, especially when two (or more) people consent to give themselves to one another in a sexual way. Consent, a powerful force indeed. In this book there are five tales that deal specifically with consent. The first story "Consenting adults" deals with the exploration of eroticism between two lovers and a whole lot of "YES!" between lovers. Who hasn't had an office crush or wanted to get a little freaky withtheir attractive co-workers? Quite the steamy introduction. Not a bad opening to this collection, the second story "The Haricot Verts" gives us  peek in on a tense moment between a couple where one half of this couple is having trouble with communicating what exactly is on her mind. What can I say about this second story? I honestly do not know, perhaps one of you can explain to me just what the heck was going on? I am puzzled. The third story...Two words readers....Shower Scene. The third tale "The reluctant Exhibitionist" takes us in the world of a young couple who are learning to open up and share their fantasies without embarrassment. Very kinky and romantic, and seriously who has not had an embarrasing moment or two or three... when they wanted to share an intimate secret or create one with their partner?  The fourth tale "The Adventures of Sasquatch" is kind of a frustrating tale involving a pretty awesome single mom, and her big feet, and how she is determined to reclaim her inner curb stomping awesome princess self. I liked this tale, it was cute and a tad funny and who does not have something about themselves that they think at times holds them back? The last and final tale is something many people face it is titled "Between the Lines" this tale shows us what happens when long-hidden desires, but are they really hidden? No, that is for sure, these two people know what they want, and they are willing to show and share with one another just what they desire. Phew, hormones are running wild all over this book, and without being overly crude this is a collection of fun, romantic, erotic, and okay a little bit of raunchy tales. Not a bad read if you want to curl up for a minute or two to just take a breather and peak into other people's lives.

Shadow Fires Written by: Dean Koontz

Why hello there readers, and here we are another new month and the possibilities endless. But, so long as you are still among the living correct? Granted, I have read a book where cadavers actually have quite a fascinating life after death, but those are our shells only correct? But, what if death was not the end? Readers, science is breaking new ground everyday and exploring possibilities that in the past were absolute works of fiction and devices and medical advancements we have today would seem wholly alien and impossible  to our ancestors... so, I picked up this book from a certain Father in Law's library (I mean c'mon Dean Koontz how could I resist?) So, we have our heroine Rachel Leben and her soon to be Ex husband Eric... but soon after a heated argument Eric ends up dead...and no readers Rachel did not kill Eric, if anything Rachel is perfect in her behavior and has quite the classy character. So, after seven years of marriage one of which included Rachel leaving her husband she is free, or is she? Rachel appears paranoid and not upset by Eric's death, and then his body vanishes from the morgue, and other bodies are discovered, murdered in quite a horrific manner. Just what is going on? That is what Ben Shadway, Rachel's beau wishes to know, but Rachel has a secret too terrible to share with anyone, and too terrible for anyone to believe. The couple soon find themselves being followed in a rather hostel manner by forces who wish to silence and kill them. Ben is a very classic kind of guy readers, at first I thought he was absolutely naive and delusional mostly because I cannot understand people who idealize eras in the world and act like they were perfect... but I get off track, Ben is quite the nut to crack and he is full of pleasant surprises. Can Rachel trust him though, and can she finally admit just how much she loves him? These are of course not the only cast of characters if you have read a Dean Koontz novel before readers, you will know this guy likes to have multiple plots that will converge with the main one perhaps even multiple times. This was an audio book and I had the pleasure of listening to Sandra Burr with her talented voice, I have listened to multiple books narrated by her and I absolutely love her male voices and the special effects she brings to the plot. She blends her voice perfectly with Koontz plot, building up the climactic moments at all the right times sheer brilliance. The plot is never slow, but keeps you guessing and making assumptions about just what the hell is going on? The way Koontz also scares and tortures his characters is oh so terrifying as he does not pull his punches on anyone be they small or large players in this game. Koontz also in what I have come to see as his classic fashion brings up some very disturbing topics and how those flaws and perpetrators of these disturbing behaviors can flourish. Even as these people terrorize those around them they are given passes it seems and Koontz reveals how they can be in positions of power with even more control over their victims. Quite fascinating indeed. When you come to the end readers ask yourself.... would you have done what he did? There is a lot here readers and it is indeed a horror novel,  do keep listening after the book is over as Koontz just might make an appearance that will have you laughing rather than cowering with a blanket after having experienced his creation.